Doors are always opening.

Doors are always opening.

There’s an old saying that when one door closes, another opens.  In my case, doors seem to swing like the louvered saloon doors in the Old West, and bang like the crack of gunfire, rather than simply open or close.

My popular newspaper column in Sun Media’s Daily Herald-Tribune, “Family Matters,” came to an end last week.  I’ve chronicled the ups, downs, overs, unders and arounds of our family for more than six years. The reason for the abrupt end is that someone told my children how I had been making a living.  Until then, they thought I could purchase food and name-brand t-shirts in exchange for donating cookies to school bake sales.  Like, really?

‘They thought I could purchase food and name-brand t-shirts in exchange for donating cookies to school bake sales.’

They had no idea I was taking notes constantly on the inane things they did and said.  This, of course, was a blessing.

I also took the precaution of carefully removing Page 4 from the newspaper every Wednesday in case either of them developed a taste for news, and accidentally found out how they were “feeding” my work.  Knowing them, they’d have demanded a fee for being my muse.  (OK, there was this time, when I needed photographs of my son to supply to an illustrator on a deadline, and he was being stubborn and someone told him models get paid…I paid him.  Fortunately, he was three; Smarties were his currency.)

I remained vague about the hours I spent playing in the office, and the boys never really caught on to why strangers smiled at them knowingly.

But, alas, I am retiring from active parenting and thus, the collection of mirthful material  Here’s a link to my final column ( with a promise of something new brewing for late August that will appear on Page 4, and that the children will be allowed to read…most of the time.

© 2013 Sue Farrell Holler