How to get a telemarket scammer to hang up

This was almost as funny as the call from the Daffy Duct Cleaning Service.

Polite young man with East Indian accent: Hello, Ma’am.  I am calling today from Windows Tech Support.  May I please speak to Meesus Hole-er?

Me:  Of course!  Just a moment please.

“Me” puts down the receiver, goes to the washroom, and returns.

Him:  Meesus Hole-er?

Me, speaking with Chinese accent:  Yes, this is she.

Him:  Mrs. Hole-er, this is Gar-r-ry calling from Windows Tech Support.

Me:  Windows?

Him:  Yes, ma’am.  Are you near your computer?  Do you have it turned on?

Me:  Computer?  Computer!  I’ve won a computer?

Him, pausing, searching through script:  No, ma’am, I do not think you understand.

Me, speaking enthusiastically, and sounding as if I am jumping up and down:  A computer!  A computer!  I have always wanted a computer!  Where do I pick it up?  Or will you deliver it to me?  Do you know my address?

Him:  Excuse me, ma’am.  I am talking about windows for your computer.

Me, forgetting Chinese accent:  I get new windows, too!  That will save me so much cleaning. This is my lucky day!  I am SO excited!

Him, long pause:  Ma’am?  Can you go to your computer, please?

Me:  Of course!  Where is it?  Where can I find it?  Is it here already?

Him:  Ma’am?

Me, speaking as enthusiastically as a dog looks when it’s been asked if it would like to go for a walk:  Yes?

Click.

Me, smiles triumphantly for the rest of the day.

© 2013 Sue Farrell Holler

 

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